Cover your ears, gentle readers:

Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck. I just ate meat.

I've been a vegetarian since 1999. Traveling outside the US is always a challenge, especially (and surprisingly, to me) in Asia, where "vegetarian" often means "just a little bit of pork but not a lot."

And apparently, here, "spinach and mushroom lasagna" means "ha ha ha, sucker -- meat!" Gross. So gross. And I'm not one of those vegetarian-for-health-reasons types, either; it's an animal cruelty issue for me. So I feel completely sickened.

Sorry for the cursing. You wouldn't know it from this blog, but I usually have a fairly foul mouth...for some reason I have the impression that most who read this are genteel -- genteel-er than I, at least, and I clean it up for this assumed audience. Am I right -- are you genteel? If so, sorry. But this deserves profanity.

Other than that, Shanghai is quite nice.

Itineary

So, I'm off to Shanghai Friday morning. A relatively short trip, just 6 days. I leave Shanghai to return on Thursday morning at 10:00 a.m., and get back to Portland 2 hours earlier, on Thursday morning at 8:10 a.m. That's pretty cool.

Anybody need anything?

Then home again for a few weeks, then off to Amsterdam for another little shorty trip! (Not going to ask if anybody needs anything from them because I am very afraid of the possible answers.)

Lots of travel. I'll miss my baby.

Whining works!

Apparently. For the last two nights in a row we've successfully read books before bed, and for the last two meals NO fits, no flinging food, and great appetite.

So: expect LOTS and LOTS more whining from me from now on! Thanks for all the advice from the other post...I'm resolved to stop using "no" so much, and talking to her in full sentences that I doubt she understands right now but which will be good for both of us, regardless ("Sweetie, we shouldn't put blocks up Gus's nose; it isn't nice and they don't fit.").

But not today. Today has been the best day so far; she's been such a snugglebug! Full of smiles and hugs -- the awesome kind, the kind where she nuzzles into my neck and holds on so tight that if I let go, she'd still stay put (and I think she bites my shoulder a little bit, too, which is weird but wonderful) -- and overall good cheer. We were walking through the store and she kept lurching from the shopping cart toward me for mini-hugs. Simply adorable.

Yesterday we went out on adventures with our favorite friend Frances. Went to this great coffee shop with a kids play area; big glass windows and doors looking out onto the street. Lucy kept spreading out her arms flat against the window and doing the "Elaine..... EEEElllllaaaaiiiinnnneeee" pose from "The Graduate." Very funny. These are pics from my BlackBerry (my true love); there are better ones from the real camera we need to get up and out to the world.

I think I've mentioned once or twice that Lulu's a VERY messy eater? Here's proof; picutre quality not great but please note the avocado 1) by her eye, 2) up her nose, and 3) everywhere else.

And I also believe I've mentioned she's cute, right down to her tiny tiny feet (seriously tiny -- the pediatrician called them "infant feet"...part of the walking issue, I'm sure). Here's proof:

sorry...still here. baby still flinging food.

While I must admit that my absence has been in part because I owe the internet and Laura a Yertle-the-Turtle-themed ode to illness, I also know that I'm pretty much the only one who cares about that so it's not a great reason for staying away.

So here I am. And I need help. Care to advise on any of the following topics? I think you need to know a little about where Lu is developmentally, first: at 18 months, Lu has some gross motor delays -- she isn't walking yet (holding our hands, but not on her own). She has some words, but not the ones that will help me with my questions below (like, for example, "no" -- that one is a complete mystery to her). I think she just doesn't want to do some fine motor exercises...sometimes she'll put a shape into the shape sorter, but usually she just crawls away with the pieces or puts them in her mouth. OK...here's my list.

• Reading. We've been home for 8 months now, and for at least 6 of them we've had a pretty good bedtime routine involving reading, 4 to 6 books, right before bed. For the last three weeks or so, though, she throws an absolute FIT when I try to read to her. I know she's generally tired around this time, but she already goes to bed at 7:00 and I can't imagine moving bedtime up too much earlier than that. If we let her watch TV/DVDs up until 7:00, she's perfectly happy. So: do kids go through phases about being willing to be read to? What can I do, if anything, to get back into the groove? I LOVE reading with her.
• Food. She eats fine, and plenty, most of the time. But when she's done, and sometimes mid-meal, she throws a SCREAMING FIT (see a pattern developing here?) and flings all the food from her try to the walls or floor. No "no thank you; I believe I'm full" from her. No gently folded napkin dabbing lips. No head shaking. No turning politely away. Full-force shrieking and real tears. They stop immediately when we pick her up. She won't use the baby sign for all done, although she does know other signs.
• No. She HATES to be told no. When the food throwing begins, I almost always say "no" firmly and restrain her hand from being able to complete the food-flinging arc. The first few times she often thinks it's funny and smiles, but eventually, and sometimes immediately, she hears "no" and has...you guessed it: a SCREAMING FIT.
• Teeth grinding. This is a new one, and probably no big deal but: she's got 6 -- two top, four bottom. Recently she's grinding them in a horrible disgusting way. The noise is bad, as you can imagine, but more than that, I have the feeling she's just going to snap one of them right off. Usually the teeth ground together would be molars, not those front ones!
• Teething: hey, by the way, in one of my prior posts Gretchen recommended Dr. Hand's Teething Lotion (main ingredient is clove oil) for teething, and gave me the warning that it's really hard to find. Yup. I'd love to get some -- even if only in tribute to The Marathon Man's horrible dentistry scene -- but can't find it online anywhere. Do any of you have access to it, or resources?

OK, that's my list. Feel free to offer general advice on random topics, though...I can use all the help I can get. Tongue in cheek poetry to come soon. Very sad about the state of Vietnam adoptions. I hope things turn around.

Look who's blogging now!

She wanted to write her own 18-month update, but my god, she has the WORST grammar! I can't stand it; it offends my delicate sensibilities. So I have to do it for her. (Speaking of grammar, this isn't necessarily a grammar joke but I heard this on the radio last week: "This programming brought to you by the American Foundation for the Prevention of Suicide and Geico." Just struck my funny-bone.)

So Lulu's 18 months old today. We've been home for 8 months now, and it keeps getting better and better. Here's the usual birthday laundry list:

• 6 teeth -- four came in at once, THAT was quite horrible. All very very crooked. Orthodontia fund to be established very soon.
  
• Eats very well. We're vegetarian, but are having no problems filling her meals with good stuff. She hasn't refused anything, really...fussy periods now and then, but she doesn't have any foods that she absolutely refuses. BIG fan of Annie's Homegrown Cheeseburger Macaroni. And raw, soft tofu, and avocados, and blueberries...
  
• Gives sloppy open-mouthed kisses on request...oh, I love that part.
• Recently found my glasses, and is quite fascinated by how my face seems to exist even under my glasses! She spends minutes at a time lifting them to my forehead, and then dropping them back in place.
  
• Loves reading, still. And Baby Einstein videos, and (shudder) Yo Gabba Gabba. (I've actually had a fairly robust internal debate about whether I should talk about Yo Gabba Gabba here, because although I seem to have become inured to it, as I looked for clips to share with you all, the horror of it all has become fresh again. Really, it's ... indescribable.)
  
• Still no independent walking, but this month she's been willing to walk (stumble) holding only one of our hands, which I think is a good improvement. She learned to crawl up the stairs within the past few weeks, too.
  
• We can finally (mostly) differentiate between Dad and Dog, both of which she says many times in a row, fast. We've also got our old standby, bubbles, and ball, and I think Baby, and bye-bye and definitely Mama (!!) and I'm sure more that we can't easily recognize. Last night we think she made her first attempt at "Gus." We're working on "please" but that seems pretty esoteric at this point. And signs for milk, water (she made up her own water sign), and more, and food.
  
• Nighttime sleep is great recently -- goes down easy (too easy, in fact; up till a few weeks ago I got to stand by her crib and she'd snuggle into my neck and it was wonderful; now she's so tired that as soon as we get within 5 feet of her crib she lunges for it and wants to lie down immediately) and sleeps for about 12 hours with only a few short wake-ups in there. Probably won't last, but it's pretty great. Naps, not so good.
  
• In temperament, she's mostly happy all the time. She shares really well, and doesn't quite understand yet that other kids might not, so how this translates is that she has no qualms about taking something from another kid because what's the big deal? She wouldn't mind if someone (Frances) took something from her. We don't get full-out belly laughs that often (have you seen this incredibly happy kid? If you're feeling blah, this will definitely make you smile), but she smiles and giggles and is overall just the most charming little kiddo.

First pigtails (we call them martian antennae). And look at that bulging belly -- so squeezable!

Plugged in

Me and the cutest two members of the house. (Note to self: no more photos with these two; I suffer greatly by comparison.)

Crazy, ridiculous, possibly illegal adorableness.

Crazy, ridiculous, possibly illegal creepiness.

Happy Gussiversary!

Five years ago today, I went to our local Humane Society and came home with my second choice dog, who turned out to be -- seriously, and I know some of you think you've actually got a horse in this race but if you could only meet him I'm sure you'd agree -- the Best Dog Ever. Thank God my misguided first choice was unavailable.

Sweet Gussie, you are a VERY GOOD BOY!

Sick I am

I will not vomit on the chair,
I will not vomit on the stair.
I do not like to feel this way,
I might not live another day.

**Edited to add: new poll over there, and Elaine -- you're up early or really should be in bed!