Finally: Lucy is walking!

Hi There -- Matthew bloggin' at ya' for a change. I'd love to explain why I was doing a Google image search of 'Black Velvet Clown' (per the last post) but we have breaking news preempting our regularly scheduled programming. That is right: at the tender age of 2 years + 2 weeks, Lucy has started walking.

She just started last night. She has been walking holding hands w/ us for months and for the last few weeks I've been letting go of her hands a few feet from whatever we're walking towards + she would walk those last few steps. But last night she had a break through (thanks Nanny Melissa + the stack of big blocks she brought for Lucy to play with)... suddenly she was walking all over the house. Amazing!

It probably goes without saying that Melissa and I are very happy about this development.

Enjoy the video. My best, Matthew.

Lucy's 15 minutes

Guess who's all cute and famous? Our little friend Lucy, that's who. Matthew, for reasons entirely unfathomable to me (and best unexamined), was doing random Google Image searches and searched "black velvet clown." Look what he got!

Crawling around crying

Both of us, Lu and I. She literally, me more (but not entirely) metaphorically.

Several have asked for a daycare update, so here goes.

We're nearing the end of the third week. A context refresher: Lucy's 2, we got her home when she was 10 months and until now, she's been at home with a nanny (with no problems). But she still isn't walking without holding hands, and we really think she NEEDS to be in a daycare setting to gain the confidence (and benefit from some toddler peer pressure) to let go and walk on her own. If we didn't think she needed that, we would continue on with a nanny at home.

So far we're only doing mornings -- about 8:45 to noon. The first week, we stayed with her the whole time (and she did fine). The second week, we stayed with her on Monday and Tuesday, and left her on Wednesday morning after staying there for about 45 minutes. Wednesday was fine for an hour, then she melted down and I went over. Thursday was fairly bad; mostly crying but there were periods of about 10 or 15 minutes without tears. Friday...Friday was wonderful. It's the thing that's keeping us hopeful. She cried for maybe 10 minutes when I left, but then had a wonderful day, engaged and playing and eating. Here's a cute collage the teachers made from that day (the name of her classroom is Kid Believe):

Isn't that adorable, and such a cool thing that the daycare does? They emailed it to me at my desk.

Anyway, then the weekend, which I know throws everything off, so I was expecting a tough start to the week. So far this week it's been tough. No breakthrough days like last Friday. Crying and OK periods back and forth. Mid week, drop-offs got significantly worse as she realized what was happening...every other morning I would go in, we eat some breakfast, play for a little bit, and she only freaks when I leave. Now she begins crying the minute we stepped into the room. On the advice of her teachers and others, we've shortened the drop-off time to 5 or so minutes; having us there wasn't providing any comfort anyway and she was just anxiety-ridden anticipating the time when I would leave.

Her teacher has described her days as up and down; she's happy during walks and playing in the sandbox and with the water feature and reading books. Teachers say they see small progress each day. But at times, when they're in the room, her teacher said she "crawls around crying" which absolutely makes my chest curl in on itself with pain. Happily, when they wrote that horrible phrase to me in an email update, they also included more cute photos of her seeming to do well, so I know it's not constant sadness:

Anyway, that's where we are. Pushing onward, hoping it gets better relatively soon. Because this is still just mornings...we've got to build up to full days once we get this part mastered.

Oy. As always, advice welcome.

NO!

I haven't written too much about this, but Lucy doesn't talk much. Babbles constantly, but few words we can recognize. Unfortunately, this means she doesn't say "no" or "yes" and instead expresses the former by shrieking, throwing things, or general unpleasantness, and expresses the latter by, usually, grunting and/or hooting like a prehistoric toddler (in cases of serious want, like a prehistoric toddler in the midst of a bowel movement).

One of the several presents Lucy received for her birthday was a cute pair of fuzzy-duckie slippers. Cute. Fuzzy. You get the picture (except you don't get a picture of the real things, because they're in her closet and she's asleep -- those above are for illustration only (obviously, because they are a picture after all...but you know what I mean)).

Anyway, as I said: cute and fuzzy. Not so much to little Lulu, though. When we unwrapped them she immediately backed away in terror, crawled across the carpet away from them as fast as her little legs would carry her. We brought her back and tried to get her to hold them; she swung her arms around and tried to escape from the fuzzy duckie terror that had seized her.

We tried to put one on her foot, and...

wait for it...

a pitiful "nooooooooo!"

So thanks, Dad. Apparently your birthday gift provided the impetus needed to motivate her to her first deliberate use of the word "no."

Which she's used pretty much non-stop for the past 5 days, whether appropriate or not. It's pretty damn cute; she's got a sweet low voice and it kind of comes out in a Wisconsin accent and it's just quite funny.

2

Lucy's two today. We have the obligatory messy cake eating photos, but they'll have to wait for another day because I want to direct you to one of the best things I've ever read online to explain my feelings for this daughter I find myself loving more than ... well, more than.

This is blogosphere phenomenon Black Hockey Jesus, writing about his daughter (blog-named Lucy). He is amazing. This post is amazing. He says what I would write, if I were ever this talented. I will read it to Lucy one day, if I can without crying too hard to be understood.

Happy birthday, baby. You're everything.

Birthday season

Birthday season is upon us -- today my mom, tomorrow Lucy, next day Matthew. Jolly good fellows, all.

But tomorrow's a big day for two reasons. D-day, and B-day. Lucy's 2nd, and the day we leave her at daycare in the morning.

First, the birthday, since that's relatively easy. We're not doing anything. I'll buy a fluffy pretty cake or cupcake and get the obligatory icing-face photo, but other than that, no fuss. She has no idea it's her birthday, so why bother? We'll do it up right next year (and every year thereafter, till she prefers we just give her $50 and drop her and her friends off at the mall (when is that...when she's 6? 7?)). So, there's that.

Lucy mauling cupcake, September 2007.

There's also the big daycare transition. We think she's getting more comfortable with the classroom itself, and so the plan tomorrow is to go, hang with her for 1/2 hour or 45 minutes, then leave for a few hours. Then, probably, pick her up for a nap at home. We've really struggled with napping at daycare for the past three days; we haven't been successful yet. Yesterday, she cried for 2 hours, hit Matthew, etc., then fell asleep for 5 minutes. Today, Matthew tried to get her to fall asleep for about 45 minutes, then threw in the towel and brought her home for a nap. But we only want to tackle one hurdle at a time, so I think the first up is leaving her there at all; once we're good with that, then we'll re-approach napping there (and ultimately full days).


So that's the plan. Subject to change.

A little diversion to the left...

I'm not going to get all politicial on you, although I did blog a few months ago, after an amazing visit to Memphis's Civil Rights Museum, about how much I admire and hope for Obama. I couldn't say it better than Nicki, anyway, so if you're itching for some great political ranting/writing that says pretty much what I'd want to say if I wanted to say it, just mosey on over thataway.

But I do need to give credit where credit is due, so my hat is tipped to McCain for this funny line I heard (on NPR, of course) today (I think he's used it before). He was talking about how he'd strengthen Social Security by editing waste in other federal spending, and said something about:

"$3 million spent on testing bear DNA in Montana. I'm not sure if it was a criminal issue or a paternity issue..."

Made me giggle.

(Of course, he's still a jackass. In fact, according to factcheck.org, McCain "voted in favor of the bill that included the bear study funding." Ha. That makes me giggle too, actually. A painful giggle, but a giggle nonetheless.)

My peeps sleep

It's 4:20 a.m. I'm awake. I can hear Lucy's nighttime music through the walls, Matthew snoring, Simon-the-dog sighs occassionally in his sleep, Gus-the-dog circling, toes clicking on wood floors.

Not sure why I'm up, but better me than Lucy. So, daycare. We just finished up the first week; we did mornings only and I stayed with her the entire time. Overall -- pretty good. We're really excited about the care she'll get there; it's a spectacular center. Child/teacher ratio is 9 to 4. A brand new facility, they provide great food and cater to any diet -- Lucy's vegetarian meals have been great. She learned to eat with a spoon her first day there. The school paid for two of her teachers to have a home visit last weekend before school began, so Lucy could meet them on her home turf (she loved them).

Over the course of the week we've seen some small-but-noticable improvements...she ventures away from me for adventures in the room for minutes at a time. She freaked the hell out on walks the first two times, but yesterday she was really great about it. Yesterday, too, I left the room for two 15 minute periods and she was mostly OK about it.

Nights this week have been where we've really seen the impact, I think...on three nights, she's wakened yelling after an hour or two of sleep, needing soothing for about an hour before falling to sleep for the night. Poor kiddo.

Next week, the plan is to ramp up -- frequent leaving and coming back, longer days, and I'm hopeful that naptime will be OK too (yesterday we tried to stay for a nap for the first time; she wasn't upset but didn't fall asleep). And I hope the week after next...full force ahead.

All good things said, though (amazingly, she also has great table manners eating at school -- no food flinging! Although she still does at home...what's that about?), she definitely has seperation anxiety...and if I knew that it was "just" normal seperation anxiety, we'd be much more inclined to hurry up and leave her there, let her cry through it, and come around the bend. But the adoption piece...that adds another layer to the equation that we just can't understand. Does she know we'll always come back for her? Does she know she'll never find another family? We will, baby. You won't have to. We promise.

(This post is boring and disjointed. I'm tired. Sorry.)

14 months ago...

This has been Lucy's first week of daycare. She has just been there w/ mom or dad for a few hours a day -- so she has been having a good time so far and the hard part is still to come. I'm sure Melissa will fill you in with more + better details -- I just wanted to post this photo. We are putting together a poster board w/ photos of family, friends, pets, etc. and among them, Melissa printed out this photo from Vietnam and it is just too cute. Look at that pudgy little baby head! Adorable! Love that baby...



L8R, peeps.
Matthew

Once more into the breach, dear friends, once more.

Henry V; Shakespeare:

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more,
(read: daycare redux!)
Or close the wall up with our English dead!
(read: "English dead" = my twisted and damaged back from all the carrying around of a 25 pound toddler-who-won't-toddle!)
In peace there's nothing so becomes a man
As modest stillness and humility;
(read: quite days by the fireside with a nanny, probably knitting or reading Little Women aloud, would be fine for some kids, but not us!)
But when the blast of war blows in our ears,
(read: "blast of war" = the "up up up" whine of toddler clutching shirttail, begging to be held)
Then imitate the action of the tiger:
(read: gird those loins, baby)
Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood.
(read: ready the duct tape to piece back together soon-to-break heart again).

In other words: daycare ho!