I could use advice. Turns out that this sweet and sunny girl, this snugglebug, this adorable creature, has a dark side.
She's a gouger. She'll cut you, she'll cut you bad.
For several weeks now Lulu's taken to grabbing faces and in the worst case, scratching and drawing blood. It's very hard to figure out -- sometimes (less frequently), it's apparently out of anger or frustration. But more often, it seems to be just fun (tickling on the bed, she gets over-excited), or exploring (just to see our reaction), or totally inexplicable. She gets "gentle" and she can definitely use "gentle touches" when prompted to do it, but sometimes...she just doesn't. Doesn't want to? Doesn't know to? Doesn't care? I don't know.
We don't know what to do. At daycare, they first tried to "use their words" with her -- explain that when she does that, it hurts other people, and it's not nice, etc. Lulu = oblivious. (Her language skills aren't up to that level of discussion, I think.)
Now they're trying what seems like a modified time out -- removing her and sitting her across the room while they tend to the other kid, although not making her stay there for any period of time. Their theory is that she really craves adult interaction, so removing her and ignoring her briefly will reinforce the negative consequences. So far it hasn't solved the problem; she had another incident yesterday which seemed more like the "exploring" type of scratching, not the anger/frustration kind.
When she's scolded or corrected at home, she immediately bursts into tears -- she knows what it means to misbehave and hates the consequences. It doesn't seem to stop her, though.
So, advice? Mandatory mittens?
5 comments:
When Delile has longer nails she starts pinching and scratching people. As soon as I cut them it stops. I try to keep them very very short.
This is tough to handle, could be just toddler stuff, or she's noticed she gets a big reaction, etc.
My daughter does crave adult attention, though, and she will do things on purpose that she knows are wrong to get negative attention. She'll also do it when she feels overwhelmed. It's like the time out gives her permission to throw a massive tantrum and then she's fine.
We try to make a brief time out as boring as possible - no big reaction, no hugs, if she screams, she goes to her room where she has no audience. She's quite a bit older though.
I'll be interested to hear about how this fades - if it's just a phase.
We have been dealing with hitting. He gets mad and he strikes. We have been doing time outs like they do on the Nanny. It stops the behavior right away.
I have no advice. I came here to read some in the comments for the future. My dog and cat are pretty laid back. :O(
Sorry I'm of no help. The picture is adorable though. :O)
Oh man, I was hoping she had given it up! sorry M.
For Lu, I think the reaction is just so interesting that she is still figuring it out. Even if it hurts when she scratches, it might help to hold back strong reactions in response to the pain. (no swearing and howling!) Then calmly remove her from your presence, set her down and walk away with a firm "no scratch". The other toddlers in class can't follow suit so you will have to make sure her nails are well trimmed and they need to watch her like a hawk until this passes.
Good luck and I hope it is soon.
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